Train To Please Yourself: Be void of needing approval from others:
Success with your Dog requires you to be independent of approval from others. Your own personal approval of your performance, walk, or experience is critical and what you are aiming for, but no stranger's should. They don't know where you have come from, what you know, or what it is like to walk a mile in your shoes with 'this' dog, therefore their assessment cannot be accurate.
Many of us develop a thick skin, and learn to ignore comments that are not constructive, but to be independent of approval also means that compliments from outsiders, while nice, also do not alter your thoughts or behaviour. Both the good and the bad should not affect your inner judgement of your moments. You can critically see your moment for precisely what it was.
Feedback from trusted training friends is valuable and should be heeded. This feedback is often both honest and critical, and is always looking out for your best interests (at least mine is!) These people understand your journey, goals, and the shoes in which you have walked!
When we are able to evaluate our dog's behaviour or performance ourselves, with outside opinions not altering what we see, then you know you have mastered independent approval. You are now training to please yourself. There will be moments where you fail a performance, but will be thrilled with your dog understanding the challenges that he coped with so well, and other occassions where you will win yet be unhappy with your performance.
Only once we have reached this place can we know that our motifs are always based solely on what you and your dog need. We are basing our training decisions on what we want, and what we need, as a team, knowing where we have come from and where we need to go, and not on what will please that particular judge, or friend, or peer.
Monique Anstee
Victoria, BC
www.naughtydogge.com
Comments
Thank you for this post. I have had my border collie mix from SPCA for 2years now and it has been a real learning journey. What it takes to be a responsible dog owner and keep training my dog for public approval has been overwhelming. As a new dog owner, there is so much to know and learn. It is endless. There is always something new to learn and getting harsh comments by other dog owners when my dog makes mistake is heart breaking. I absolutely do my best to deal with new situations and constantly looking up what to do. We went through obedience classes and private lessons. But feel that I and my dog are judged by one mistake after ll those efforts. Today we came acrosse horses at trail, her recall has been great but she never got so close to horses before. She was curious and barked few times and didnt come back to me right away. Feels like failure already. I do look out while w are out on trail so I can be prepared when horses are coming usually but wasn't the case today. They came around cornrt of thick bush. No crazy things happened but still feel like failure. I love my dog and my life with her but sometimes exausting to be approved as a good dog and a good owner who keeps trying.
Thank you for this post. I have had my border collie mix from SPCA for 2years now and it has been a real learning journey. What it takes to be a responsible dog owner and keep training my dog for public approval has been overwhelming. As a new dog owner, there is so much to know and learn. It is endless. There is always something new to learn and getting harsh comments by other dog owners when my dog makes mistake is heart breaking. I absolutely do my best to deal with new situations and constantly looking up what to do. We went through obedience classes and private lessons. But feel that I and my dog are judged by one mistake after ll those efforts. Today we came acrosse horses at trail, her recall has been great but she never got so close to horses before. She was curious and barked few times and didnt come back to me right away. Feels like failure already. I do look out while w are out on trail so I can be prepared when horses are coming usually but wasn't the case today. They came around cornrt of thick bush. No crazy things happened but still feel like failure. I love my dog and my life with her but sometimes exausting to be approved as a good dog and a good owner who keeps trying.
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